Time

So as you may know, I only have a week left in Taiwan.

As some missionary lingo says.... I'm feeling TRUNKY. BIG TIME!

I'm not homesick. It's just time to go home.

Right now preferably.

I can hardly wait.

Time, could you please go a little faster?

Pretty Please?

Sincerely,

kailey

See you all soon. That is if that time EVER comes!

Say hello to Utah State's Newest Ambassador.

Here's my mid-day week update...

Number One: Can you tell what these are? Cookies, yes I know and when we got them we were so thrilled, it looks and tastes like, for that matter the classic grandma cookies. But there not. They are wedding cookies! So we when we went to church on Sunday one of our friends invited us to go to her wedding next Saturday, of course we said YES!! Who wouldn't want to go to a full blown Taiwanese wedding?!?! Well she dropped off the inviation that night, with what else? COOKIES!! I guess it's just what you do here, cookies go with every wedding invitation. Kinda cool... WAY cool actually...

Update Number Er: University Presentations

Oh dear me.

So they wanted us to give a presentation to our college students about our Universities. Really not that hard, but take into account very few, seriously a handful, can speak English, and by speaking I mean some can mutter out some words. There may be 4 or 5 who are actually fluent. Makes doing a presentation a whole lot harder when they have no idea what in the devil you are saying! 

Overall it went over really well minus some  bumps in the road, and honestly i'm glad just to have the damn thing over with. Here are the bumps:

So Taiwan is supposed to be so technologically advanced. Well for whatever reason the University doesn't have microsoft 2007 on their computers, only 2003. So we go waltzing in, all of us who are already about to crap our pants as we walk in and see everyone, but I go up first to do my business. Powerpoint, NOT. Compatible. CRAP. So not really being able to do my presentation and have them understand a darn thing without it, I ran out of class and rode my bike home so blinking fast you wouldn't even believe it. Seriously, there are stairs in a couple of places, we usually take the bike ramp, nope stairs I went down, people go in my way, I rode in the grass and dirt. Whatever it took. I'm sure I was making quite the scene.

So I got home re-saved it, and back I went. So as you can imagine I was a huffin and puffin, naturally. I walk in to find 2 of the other teachers gone. Apparently the internet isn't working either. LOVELY.

Just happens that half of my presentation is videos from Utah State.

But in the end we just crammed into a smaller class where the internet worked and it was all honky dory. No presentation is complete without some bumps in the road right? That's what I figure...

A couple of people asked me about coming to Utah State. It would totally and COMPLETELY make my ENTIRE LIFE if they came. Seriously. Maybe I could squeeze some scholarship from Utah State out of it too for recruitment. Doubt it, but I can dream.......

Group one, notice the legit flier we are holding? No bid deal, just advertised all over campus. I'm THAT cool in Taiwan.

Group 2. I really REALLY love this class. Pretty much made this whole Taiwan experience. Seriously.

Time is winding down, seriously. We have to be all moved out by next Tuesday, meaning I have to pack and clean this weekend. We seriously have EVERY SINGLE DAY booked for the rest of the time we are here. I've never been so busy in my entire life.

For that reason we have decided to stay here this weekend instead of traveling and we're going to have a Christmas/Bye bye party on Saturday. I'm super excited!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Just another "average?" weekday.

Ok, so I realize that it is now no longer a weekday, in fact on the cusp of yet another new week. (weird how time flies) but I started this last week and never got around to finishing it....

Every SINGLE day Taiwan throw us something weird. Everyday. Whether it's some person showing up as our doorstep that wants to randomly knows us and wants to be our friend, or if someone takes us somewhere completely out of the blue. 

Here's this well, this is the usual. Disgusting I know and I eat that stuff. I really am still amazed none of us have gotten severely ill. I wish I could of gotten the big bucket with all the intestines in it... dang.

You can buy fruit and vegetables at the store, which is what we usually do, but this how 90% of the rest of population does it. Random guys, sell stuff that grow, which very well could just be grown out of pots on their porches. It really interesting. They set up, not only at the market but all over the place. Pretty much any street corner you can imagine. 

I've mentioned how the Taiwanese are not a clean people. Seriously most of them could be on that TV show on Hoarders. This is a prime example of a house that had kept all of their belongings from back until the dinosaurs. 

Graffiti Taiwan style. Their gangs here are reeeaaalll scary.... 

One thing I will not miss about Taiwan is the water. I really REALLY hate not being able to use the tap water.  Even when you do, to shower and such it's not so enjoyable. Our shower and toilet get so digustingly filled with black gunk ALL the time because of the water. I's so gross. 

But there are the  water stations, where people bring their big old 5 gallon jugs and fill em up. They also have some water trucks that go around the streets and people will come out and fill up their water.

I uhhhh don't quite trust water from the stations, can you tell why? So I always either buy new water bottles or fill up at the school because they have a filter. 

Well here's what I was talking about as far as no day is average.....

So I went up to go to my college class this Wednesday. I walk into class and there was only 2 girl theres. Odd I thought. Then they came up to me and told me their was a traditional Chinese dancing show that night, so asked if it would be ok if we went to it for our class. Obviously, i'm going to say yes to that!!

It was sooo incredibly AWESOME!  It was a combined show with six schools. Three from Taiwan and three schools had come from different parts of China. It was kinda a big deal.

These guys were NUTS sitting there jumpin and bumpin around. Mind you these are humans and there are two people in that thing. They throw themselves around like they are rag dolls or something. It was rather amazing. Sorry I jsut tried to upload a video of it but it was taking a year in a half, so you'll have to wait untill I come home to see it.

So cool. Take a look at where these guys bodies are at. They were all over the place!

Again, just all over the place!!

If you can't tell that guy in the yellow has a ball that the dragon is trying to catch. So the whole show was pretty much the dragon chasing that dude around doing really ridiculous stunts along the way. 

Oh and don't worry I was the only American in the entire audience. So out of "honor" they had me get up and take a picture. Sweet. Mind you this was in front of the entire crowd. Just a tad embarrassing.

Friday night we went to Costco to get some un-mentionable gifts that some of you may be receiving. I found this amusing....

You think people are nuts about samples at home? YA RIGHT!! Check out that line... People here are ridiculous about free stuff. I'm not even kidding if it's free, no matter what it is, people will take it. You should see the amount of sauerkraut and ketchup they put on their plate in the food court just because it's free. 

The men's bathroom on the train. Yes that looks directly into the bathroom. Not much privacy while one does his business around this country.

Eee Dian Dian. Zhu Nee Sheng Dang Kuai LA!!!!!!

With our little time left in Taiwan, it was time this weekend to return to Lukang. Don't get me wrong here, we did not go here again to see the temples and tourist attractions, this trip was strictly shopping. OOOOHhhhh and that we did!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!!  I wish you could see the sprawl of junk, excuse me not junk, Taiwan treasures I have laying ALL around my room! Let's just say over the last 6 months i've collected quite a load of stuff! But this weekend, ooh doggy, I got some reeeaaal cool stuff. I can hardly wait to come home and show and give it to you all!

Paint us a fan your the fan man. This man right here has got some talent!! He paints the most BEAUTFUL fans for people. You seriously can bring in any picture of anything and he will paint you a replica of it! It's so lovely. I won't mention what I had painted. We'll save that as a surprise for those who get one when I get home.

I really think the doors those some 300 year old temple doors would look just fantastic with Ninja Turtles and Spiderman don't you think?

After we made our visit to the "fan man" we HAD to make our way who else but the "Lantern man?!" This was the state of the man when we went to his shop. He's the cutest little old guy. I guess the traditional laterns, no the one hanging here, were on the decline and no one in the country made them anymore. Well, this man wanted to make a stop to that and single handedly has started making and bringing them back himself. He goes around to local High Schools and teaches kids how to make them, and has sparked  a big interest here in Taiwan about traditional lantern making. As you can tell, he was sleeping, when we came so his apprentice, son I assume made some for us. They are oh so lovely. I WILL have lanterns at my wedding reception. I will.

There we are in all of our American glory.

Do you realize what else is so great about this picture?

Let me direct you toward my legs. Do you see what is on them? Pants!! What? In Taiwan? Really? Yes it's official I wore my first pair of pants, during my whole time here on Saturday! Not going to lie it's felt pretty darn good to go pretty much 6 months with not pants!

Lantern man, doing what a lantern man does best. 

After our wonderful afternoon in Lukang we came home and immediately left for the night market in Taichung. HOLY CRAP!! So we thought we had been to some big night markets.... oh how we were wrong. This puppy was HUGE. Literally thousands upon thousand upon THOUSANDS of people. It was INSANE.  THis was our lovely little dinner, and one of our friends and students, Tiffany. 

I tell you GINORMOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Really you can't even grasp the vastness of this puppy. This road right here, literally is about a 10th of the size of the whole thing. It went on for blocks and blocks and blocks and blocks, and there was this amount of people everywhere you went. Don't worry I got some gems here also. The late Christmas we will celebrate when I get home is going to be glorious.

Do you see what that lady has in her hands and is "massaging" the lady in the sick purple velvet dress with? No, probably not because it;s kinda hard to see. Well I will tell you it's KNIVES! Some weird form of massage here where they bang you with butcher knives. Supposedly it's supposed to re-align your body. Had it not been 10:30 at night and we had been going at it since about 10:00 that morning I would have done it. But I was too tired.... dang.

CHRISTMAS is so close to being here I can taste it. I'm thrilled. Still is NOT Christmas here. But that's ok. 

Don't Chew. Just Swallow.

There are a lot things that I have gotten really good at during my stay in Taiwan. (that's sounds really cocky, but most of them are rather ridiculous. don't worry) I'd like to share with you one that I really REALLY had to use this weekend. Eating. Ladies and Gentlemen nothing will phase me anymore as far as eating goes, nothing. If someone else in the world has eaten it and not died, by golly then I can try it to. You just have to perfect the simple no chewing, just swallowing technique. It's quite simply really just take a small bite and pretend that you are swallowing a rather enormous pill. no. big. deal. But really. I think that's the only thing that gets me through some of the stuff we are given, most of which with all honesty i have NO idea what in the devil it is. 

Literally I could try to figure it out all day, and couldn't so I just don't even try anymore. But here's just a glimpse of some of the stuff I do actually know: duck brain, rice soaked in pigs blood, uncooked oysters, uncooked whole fish, fish eye, chicken heart, stinky tofu (which is really tofu they've let go rotten. yum), chicken feet, frog, seaweed (which I know is not that extravagant but I DESPISE the stuff, so it's a don't chew just eat sorta ordeal for me there), and that's all I can really remember here in this late hour, but let me tell you that really honestly is only the teeny tiny weeny little bit of the icing on the cake. 

Some of our students parents took us to Kaoshung this weekend for some fun. The first night we were there they took us to a night market to try some food. I don't know if it was just that I wasn't hungry or what but for some dang reason i was felt like I was on bloody fear factor the whole night. I could barely even do my own perfected no chew just swallow method. 

Here's some of what we had:

Thee Oyster Omelet. I love omelets, I really do. They're delicious. Oh my word, not this one. Here's what is comprised of the very famous oyster omelet in Taiwan. It's not just egg and oyster like you would expect. They put some dried sweet potato powder and rice flour crap in it that surrounds the egg that gives it a great consistency of snot. Lovely. Then they throw in some lettuce and let that cook for a little bit, and the grand finale oyster (uncooked mind you) They bought me one of those puppies to eat all by my very lonesome. lovely. Obviously you can't be rude and not eat it either..... word to the wise if you come to Taiwan, never feel the need to try these. Who likes oysters anyways? have you lost all of your taste buds and sense of feeling the food you eat? oh ooohh just the thought makes me want to vomit.

We didn't actually eat this that night, but we have before. I just wanted to take some pictures of the food that they have. Yep, those are FULL-ON octopus legs, and the freaking biggest mushrooms you'll eat see in your life. Surprisingly not bad.

 Oddly this is such a normal sight now it's no big deal. These places are all over here. You just choose some of the stuff you want and they cook it up for you right there. They do have one this down, freshness. (you should see the live shrimp they pull out of water buckets and throw live on the grill right as you order. Now that. THAT is FRESH) But this place has the pretty classic deal: fish head, frog, liver, intestine, and like i said then we just play the guess game (or do our best to not think about what we're eating) for the rest. If you can label everything in there i'd give you 10 bucks. 

And no night market experience would be complete without some rice soaked in pigs blood. And no this isn't my picture, I stole it from google because I forgot to take one that night. This really doesn't need explanation does it? Just look at the freaking name of it. rice SOAKED in pigs BLOOD. your thoughts are exactly right about this. Disgusting. I could easily be perfectly happy going the rest of my life without ever having to see or eat this again. But I guarantee you before I leave I will have to face this glorious stuff at least one more time. Joy.

But please DON'T BE MISTAKEN. Not all food here is disgusting. In fact most of it is rather delicious. A little too delicious, my thighs and belly really love it. At the end of our day we were greeted with this famous treat here in Taiwan. the ULTIMATE snow cone.

That I can chew and swallow. No problem whatsoever. 

Here are just some random pictures I took while we were going about our day in Kaoshung. Oh and I MUST mention where we stayed. A hotel. Not a hoStel and HoTel, meaning we actually had real beds, with a soft mattress. It was so lovely. Despite the fact that i'm getting pretty used to the box spring mattress that I have here, the softness was still so lovely. So lovely. I couldn't feel ever body in my body against the bed when I would turn over. Nice.

I just love this little shot I captured on our walk up to see the wild monkeys. That's Eilleen and her cousin Steven, holding hands so adorably.

You can barely see the monkey in this picture but that's not really why I wanted it. This is Linda, our cook at the school. She came with us on this weekend adventure. She is simply put, great! She's the big culprit for a lot of my eating experiences in Taiwan. But I love her, she's so sassy! Makes me really really wish I could speak fluent Chinese so I could hold a conversation with her, she's got some stories I guarantee it! 

This would be right before that wild monkey decided to attack the dad. There's signs all over the place to not feed the monkeys, and if they bite you they give you this virus that is deadly. So the dad fed them anyway and the monkey attacked. Well, no really, but still. He grabbed his hands and starting making crazy monkey noises. Luckily he didn't bite him and she could throw him off. But I tell you what it scared the be-jeebers out of me.

City shot of Kaioshung. It's a rather large city and super modern. Very nice. 

We ended our day with a nice trip to Subway for lunch, so delicious. And no trip would be complete without a trip to the zoo. So lovely, just like every other zoo in the world, but fun yet.

Coming home soon. Can't. Wait. Taiwan is beginning to become too much of a good thing. I've gotta get out of here. Soon. Luckily I am. WOOHooo!!

Len Shan Len hai

My time is winding down here in Taiwan. Weird. This weekend was yet another doozy. We made our way down to the southern tip of the island to a tropical paradise, Kenting. It was oh so lovely. I really am going to come home and be so bored with myself all of the time. Seriously we spend a good 5-10 hours at LEAST traveling every single weekend. And we HAVE to do something EVERY weekend, just sitting back and relaxing at home on a Saturday will seem so insufficient... Maybe i'll start taking the Fun Bus more often and take up Bingo at the home to entertain myself.

Now that is some good FROOD. Seriously though, it's REALLY good. These places are my favorite. I should take a picture of how you order. But basically they have an assortment of food and you choose what you want and they cook it up for you. It's so delicious and notice the portion size? I tell you I don't know why in the devil these people are so freaking skinny. i'm definitely going to need a diet when I come home. 

Yes my fellow friends while you're freezing you BUTTS off i'm just laying back on the beach, sippin some diet coke. I lead such a hard life i tell you. May as well enjoy myself while i'm missing the most epic snow year in 10 years gosh dang it!

Meet: SandMan

You can bet that we got about a million stares and hundreds of pictures taken of us while we were making this puppy.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! 

Don't worry the people that took this picture for us then had to take a ton of pictures with us. They got our email address and said they would send us the pictures. I hope they send the 300 they sneakily tried to take of us while we were making it as well. 

Darn it I HAD to wake up this morning and go for a nice walk and relax in this. Shoot. 

But I must tell you about the hostel we stayed at. The people were really very nice, but holy hell. The men that come here from America and Canada down right DRIVE ME INSANE! They pretty much are all 45 year olds who never grew up and are pretty much the freakiest, most physco people i know. The man that owned our hostel was a very kind Canadian man, but thee most unintelligent person I've ever met. He's lived here TWENTY years and he's a business owner. Naturally you'd think he would be able to speak Chinese right? URRrr he freaking knew as much as I do, and I don't know didley squat! 

They had a nice BBQ at the hostel on Saturday that we went to. I could have had a more intelligent conversation with one of my 3 year old students. Lets just say, if I heard him mention his cat and how it needs to get bigger and fend for itself so his dogs can come upstairs,one more time.... and he for whatever reason kept trying to say Gracias in Spanish but would always say Glasias. Complete idiot.

however, I must say it was quite entertaining and has given us a lot to talk about! I never knew such interesting people existed until I came here. Now, no one can really surprise me.

Another week down, 4 more to go. 

YESSss!!