Don't Chew. Just Swallow.

There are a lot things that I have gotten really good at during my stay in Taiwan. (that's sounds really cocky, but most of them are rather ridiculous. don't worry) I'd like to share with you one that I really REALLY had to use this weekend. Eating. Ladies and Gentlemen nothing will phase me anymore as far as eating goes, nothing. If someone else in the world has eaten it and not died, by golly then I can try it to. You just have to perfect the simple no chewing, just swallowing technique. It's quite simply really just take a small bite and pretend that you are swallowing a rather enormous pill. no. big. deal. But really. I think that's the only thing that gets me through some of the stuff we are given, most of which with all honesty i have NO idea what in the devil it is. 

Literally I could try to figure it out all day, and couldn't so I just don't even try anymore. But here's just a glimpse of some of the stuff I do actually know: duck brain, rice soaked in pigs blood, uncooked oysters, uncooked whole fish, fish eye, chicken heart, stinky tofu (which is really tofu they've let go rotten. yum), chicken feet, frog, seaweed (which I know is not that extravagant but I DESPISE the stuff, so it's a don't chew just eat sorta ordeal for me there), and that's all I can really remember here in this late hour, but let me tell you that really honestly is only the teeny tiny weeny little bit of the icing on the cake. 

Some of our students parents took us to Kaoshung this weekend for some fun. The first night we were there they took us to a night market to try some food. I don't know if it was just that I wasn't hungry or what but for some dang reason i was felt like I was on bloody fear factor the whole night. I could barely even do my own perfected no chew just swallow method. 

Here's some of what we had:

Thee Oyster Omelet. I love omelets, I really do. They're delicious. Oh my word, not this one. Here's what is comprised of the very famous oyster omelet in Taiwan. It's not just egg and oyster like you would expect. They put some dried sweet potato powder and rice flour crap in it that surrounds the egg that gives it a great consistency of snot. Lovely. Then they throw in some lettuce and let that cook for a little bit, and the grand finale oyster (uncooked mind you) They bought me one of those puppies to eat all by my very lonesome. lovely. Obviously you can't be rude and not eat it either..... word to the wise if you come to Taiwan, never feel the need to try these. Who likes oysters anyways? have you lost all of your taste buds and sense of feeling the food you eat? oh ooohh just the thought makes me want to vomit.

We didn't actually eat this that night, but we have before. I just wanted to take some pictures of the food that they have. Yep, those are FULL-ON octopus legs, and the freaking biggest mushrooms you'll eat see in your life. Surprisingly not bad.

 Oddly this is such a normal sight now it's no big deal. These places are all over here. You just choose some of the stuff you want and they cook it up for you right there. They do have one this down, freshness. (you should see the live shrimp they pull out of water buckets and throw live on the grill right as you order. Now that. THAT is FRESH) But this place has the pretty classic deal: fish head, frog, liver, intestine, and like i said then we just play the guess game (or do our best to not think about what we're eating) for the rest. If you can label everything in there i'd give you 10 bucks. 

And no night market experience would be complete without some rice soaked in pigs blood. And no this isn't my picture, I stole it from google because I forgot to take one that night. This really doesn't need explanation does it? Just look at the freaking name of it. rice SOAKED in pigs BLOOD. your thoughts are exactly right about this. Disgusting. I could easily be perfectly happy going the rest of my life without ever having to see or eat this again. But I guarantee you before I leave I will have to face this glorious stuff at least one more time. Joy.

But please DON'T BE MISTAKEN. Not all food here is disgusting. In fact most of it is rather delicious. A little too delicious, my thighs and belly really love it. At the end of our day we were greeted with this famous treat here in Taiwan. the ULTIMATE snow cone.

That I can chew and swallow. No problem whatsoever. 

Here are just some random pictures I took while we were going about our day in Kaoshung. Oh and I MUST mention where we stayed. A hotel. Not a hoStel and HoTel, meaning we actually had real beds, with a soft mattress. It was so lovely. Despite the fact that i'm getting pretty used to the box spring mattress that I have here, the softness was still so lovely. So lovely. I couldn't feel ever body in my body against the bed when I would turn over. Nice.

I just love this little shot I captured on our walk up to see the wild monkeys. That's Eilleen and her cousin Steven, holding hands so adorably.

You can barely see the monkey in this picture but that's not really why I wanted it. This is Linda, our cook at the school. She came with us on this weekend adventure. She is simply put, great! She's the big culprit for a lot of my eating experiences in Taiwan. But I love her, she's so sassy! Makes me really really wish I could speak fluent Chinese so I could hold a conversation with her, she's got some stories I guarantee it! 

This would be right before that wild monkey decided to attack the dad. There's signs all over the place to not feed the monkeys, and if they bite you they give you this virus that is deadly. So the dad fed them anyway and the monkey attacked. Well, no really, but still. He grabbed his hands and starting making crazy monkey noises. Luckily he didn't bite him and she could throw him off. But I tell you what it scared the be-jeebers out of me.

City shot of Kaioshung. It's a rather large city and super modern. Very nice. 

We ended our day with a nice trip to Subway for lunch, so delicious. And no trip would be complete without a trip to the zoo. So lovely, just like every other zoo in the world, but fun yet.

Coming home soon. Can't. Wait. Taiwan is beginning to become too much of a good thing. I've gotta get out of here. Soon. Luckily I am. WOOHooo!!